how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
