I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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