i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
