If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
