I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
