The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
