she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
