i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
