sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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