I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
