i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
