I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
