is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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