Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
