the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
