They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
