Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
