I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize