Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
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