i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
