oh god the rape fog is back!
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
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