K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize