I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
