dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
