i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
