Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
