I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
