East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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