the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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