i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
