who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
