i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
