Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
