Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Randomize
