You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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