my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
