i just made my gag reflex go away.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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