dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Rumble strips road head = magical
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
