I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
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