Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
i love accidental penises.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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