My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
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