I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
