So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
