i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
