My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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