Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
