Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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