She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize