i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
