I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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