So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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