What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
