We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
