she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
