For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
