That's intense
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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