You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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