So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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