he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Randomize
