I think I am morally bankrupt
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
