this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize