She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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