I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
don't judge my taste in strippers
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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