when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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