We won't sleep together?
I love black thongs
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
