Fine. I'll sleep in my office
her vagine was all disorganized.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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