You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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