I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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