the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
