She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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