I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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