porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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