Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
What a fucking waste of an outfit
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
