There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize