the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Randomize
