my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
