im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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