Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize