My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
