why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
