i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
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