Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
