Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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