i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
