The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
