I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
